Friday, December 21, 2018

Why should only gay actors get to play gay roles?

This question in itself isn't the issue, really. The question "Should only gay actors get to play gay roles?" isn't really about gay actors vs straight actors playing gay roles. 
The issue behind the question is about an entire industry marginalizing the LGBT community except when there is a way to capitalize on it and exploit it for profit. 
That is the real issue in question here.

Ask yourself why the movie industry is constantly telling LGBT actors to hide their orientation and pretend to be straight if they want to build a career. 
Is there anything wrong with being gay? Can we finally grow as a society, behave like adults, and realize that there is absolutely nothing wrong about being gay?

After all, wasn't Ezra Miller told to hide his bisexuality? That happened fairly we cannot be told that things are changing. They're not changing fast enough. 
Didn't Ryan Murphy say in an interview that straight men in the industry liked to make fun of him for what they perceived as "gay mannerisms?"
I once watched an interview of two actors from a queer movie. When the gay actor told the straight actor that Dumbledore is actually gay, the straight actor instantly asked him if that's why he likes Harry so much. Why should we, as a community, agree to spend money on straight actors like him who think that being queer equals being a pedo? I mean, I'm talking about a straight actor playing an actual queer character on screen here!

So when those same people who constantly spit in the face of our community tell queers to spend their money and go see movies made by them, what are they telling us exactly? 
They are telling us to shut up, take the insults, and give our hard-earned money to support people hurting our community. That's what they're telling us.

Telling a queer actor to hide their orientation from the public has a lot more consequences than meet the eye. 
What it truly means is that young queers out there are denied the right to have LGBT icons to look up to.

When you live in the middle of nowhere and most of the people you know are either straight or deeply closeted, you have no one to relate to. When your family is heavily religious and constantly criticizing who you are, you have no one to turn to.

Those kids need gay icons in the media so they know they are not alone, so they know things will be okay, so they know there is a community for them out there. For some of them, it is a matter of life and death. Having a gay icon to hold on to can make the difference between a desperate kid committing suicide and a desperate kid finding hope.

Denying queer actors the right to be out is denying queer kids the chance to feel integrated, wanted, and normal. 
It is a real concern that shouldn't be swept under the rug.

Now knowing that, why should our community give any money to those same people who keep telling our gay icons that they should remain closeted? Why should we support their movies when they do not support us in any way, shape, or form?

We know that gay actors are not given the same chances as straight actors. It is a fact. 

So to an LGBT person, when we see an industry capitalizing on our community by making a gay movie, knowing that this very same industry doesn't care about us, about our rights, or about our very existence, why should we, on top of that, agree to watch a gay character played by a straight actor? Why should we agree to spend our money on such movies?

When a straight/cis actor goes home to his/her family after making a gay movie, they don't have to deal with the troubles our community has to face every single day. They don't become a voice for us.
That is why our community needs gay actors. Because when those gay actors are done with their job on set, they're not done being queer. They go out into the world and give a voice to our community. They finally make our voices heard. They donate to LGBT associations. And they advocate for our rights.

As queers, when we see a gay actor play a gay role and we go to that movie, we know that at least one person on the project deserves money from our community, that at least one person on the project truly respects us and doesn't just see us as cows to be milked for money.
Now, of course, there are many other queers on set, behind the scenes as well, but that is not the question here because we don't see them so we don't know how many of them actually are queer. The issue is going to a movie knowing for a fact that at least one person on that project truly knows how we feel. We can only know that for a fact if the actor is queer.

Personally, I agree that it is okay for straight actors to play gay characters. I have watched plenty of queer movies with straight actors and the movies were wonderful. However, it is only okay as long as the industry stops marginalizing our community, stops misrepresenting us on the screen (please stop it with those movies where trans people and bi people are all psychopathic weirdoes), and as long as the industry stops laughing at and force-closeting our gay icons. 
Once our community is finally given the same chances as straight actors in the industry, once we are treated with respect and integrity, then we will get excited about straight actors playing queer characters. But until then, we will remain reluctant to give our hard-earned money to straight artists who do nothing for our community all the while exploiting us for profit. 

And honestly, who can blame us?

Monday, December 10, 2018

Queer Playlist

As requested, here is a post including a list of queer songs. You can click on the songs to access them on Youtube.
If you know more songs, please message me 
so I may add them to the list.

Songs by more queer artists:

Saturday, December 1, 2018

Why do you need to flaunt your sexuality?

I've received this question quite a few times, usually on Twitter or Instagram posts I'd written to help my community, so I figured it was time I included it in a post. 

There are many answers to that question:

1 - I am not flaunting my sexuality. 
Actually, I am closeted so if you met me in real life, you would assume I am straight. 
I would not share that aspect of my life with some random stranger. That's something I reserve for people I trust only. So please, don't think I would share this part of my life with you. I wouldn't. 

Yes, I am out online, and the reason for that is simple: I want to help other bisexuals. 
Many bisexuals are rejected by their families, partners, friends, and/or spouses. I want them to know they are seen, loved, and accepted. I want them to know they are not alone.
Now, if that makes non-queers uncomfortable, that is not my concern. My only concern is how to help my community.

Finally, I can assure you that you do have many bisexuals and pansexuals in your life. You simply do not know it. That, in and of itself, is proof enough that we do not "flaunt our sexuality." And even if you know some of them, I can assure you that there are more of us around than you are aware of.

2 - People also ask, "Why should we care who you sleep with?" or "Why should we care what you enjoy under the sheets?"

I find that funny because I've never, not once, talked about what I like under the sheets on any social media. 
Some straight people tend to think "sex," "porn," or "obscenity" any time the term LGBT is mentioned. That mere acronym seems to offend them for some unknown reason. 

The reason why I find it funny when people ask me, "Why should we care who you sleep with?" is that I am married. 
So, really, it can be assumed that I sleep with my husband. Now, if that's me flaunting my sexuality, I'm afraid I can't do anything about that. 

But since you asked me a question that is now turning my non-sexual post into sex, I shall answer it and tell you that I have never been with anyone but my husband sexually. 
So really, you thinking that me being bi is me flaunting my sexuality, or me being obscene, or me even remotely talking about what I enjoy under the sheets is just hilarious to me.

Because I am bi, people assume I have been with all genders. They also assume I've had many lovers. 
I haven't. I have had one lover in my life. Only one. 
Once again, me saying this about my life isn't me flaunting my sexuality. I'm only answering sexual questions asked by complete strangers on my non-sexual posts. 

Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having many lovers. But that's not how my life went, and that is fine with me. It doesn't make my bisexuality any less valid. 

3 - I will ask you a few questions in return:
"Why is it that when straight people kiss on TV, that's just a kiss, but when it's gay people kissing on TV, it's them 'flaunting their sexuality?'"
"Why is it that I always find myself having to justify myself to straight people?"
"Why does it bother you so much that I call myself bisexual?"
"Why do other people have such a need to erase me and try to force me to act straight?" 

4 - I will end this post by saying that, throughout my life, the only people who have ever flaunted their sexuality in my face or forced their "lifestyle" on me were straight people. From straight women telling me where their babies were conceived and when (I don't need to know where and when you've been having sex, thanks), to straight women forcing me to attend their baby showers and get them presents as if I had helped conceive their children, to straight couples expecting me to buy them wedding presents, sometimes for weddings I never even attended, to them kissing on the street, in movie theaters, at the restaurant, at the cafe, all the while showing revulsion when gay people show love, tenderness, and affection for each other the exact same innocent way. All that leads me to wonder who is forcing their "lifestyle" and sexuality on other people here, really? 

Thank you so much for your questions. 
I hope this answered your curiosity. 

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Bisexuality, Pansexuality, and Gender Identity

This blog is entirely based on questions I've received about the LGBT community:


Help! I don't know which label to identify with. 

You don't need a label unless you really want one. 

You are a person, a human being, not a label. 

Pick the label that seems best for you. 
But there is no obligation. Choosing a label isn't something you should feel forced to do. 

Personally, I chose "bisexual" because I found out I was bi almost fifteen years ago, 
and back then, that was the term people used for people like me. 

I don't mind if people call me pansexual, though. 
But I would ask people not to erase me or deny my identity. 
It's fine to call me pan, but it's never okay to force a label on me against my will.

What is the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality?

To be honest, I do not know. 

There is a wide misconception about bisexual people and how they supposedly only see two genders and only feel attraction for two genders. 
That's incorrect.

I cannot speak for all bisexuals, but those I know (and that's about half the people in my life) 
believe in more than two genders. 

I know bisexual people who are cisgender, transgender, bigender, or nonbinary. 
Most of them call themselves bisexual because that's the word they learned when they were trying to understand who they were. 

The pain I went through to accept myself as bisexual.

Personally, it was a painful process for me to accept myself as queer. 
It was painful to accept the label bisexual. 
And I know, from talking to many bisexuals, that it was painful for many of us.

But the most painful part for me was to see my own community reject me 
and use my label as a weapon against me.
It didn't happen often, but it did happen.
It didn't happen in person, but it is a bit of a recurrence online where cowards feel protected by their anonymous screens. 
Actually, it happened only just last week when someone attacked me on Twitter, 
falsely assuming I only believe in two genders. 
A random person from my own community. 
Someone who doesn't know anything about me (not even my gender, actually). 
Someone who targetted me because it says "bi" on my profile.

The attacks from our LGBT community against bisexual people really, truly hurt us. 

And I know that within the community, there are not just attacks against bisexuals.
Many transgender people also often undergo attacks from our own community. 
Those attacks hurt us. 
Those attacks break us apart. 
Those attacks weaken our community. 
But worst of all and most importantly,
those attacks can kill us!

Next time you attack someone from your own LGBT community, please, please, remember that many of us are suffering, many of us are in pain, many of us are merely surviving. 
Your words could be the last straw pushing someone to complete despair and suicide. 
Please be gentle within your own community. 
This is ALL we have. 
Each other is all we have.

No acceptance from my family.

In my case, being vilified by LGBT people hurts me because I already know my blood family will not accept me for who I am. And sadly, that is the case for many of us.
I live my life hiding who I truly am from those supposed to love me unconditionally. 
That hurts. A lot. 
But at least I have my LGBT family. 

So to me, the LGBT family is my new family. 
And when some people within that family attack me, 
they take away the one safe place I have in this world. 

If I choose to call myself bisexual, 
it isn't to hurt other people. 
It is because it hurt me so much and it was so excruciating to accept that label, to begin with, 
that I am not mentally ready to part with it. 

The truth is bisexuals will love people for who they are. 
And based on my understanding, so will pansexuals. 
I don't think there is much of a difference between the two.
And I definitely know there is no difference between the hearts beating in our chests and the blood running through our veins.
We are all humans. 
To our LGBT community, please remain united, please help one another, please do not reject those in need and despair. 
Because for many of us, this is the only family we have.

Thank you so much for reading!